Just Ask And Im Yours.

and if i said i was over you, id be lying.

Chris says: Well maybe if things were different
CHELSEA. says: I can only make them so different on my own.
Chris says: You can't make it different now...in the slightest
CHELSEA. says: Thats the hardest part. Cant wrap my head around it. Not sure if its because of my own stupidity or if its because im too blind to realize that I should just stop trying. Theres always dreams, right? And birthday wishes, and 11:11's.
Chris says: think I should go now...

If only I could convey the confusion you make me feel. You purposly do things to make me miss you. Anyone who reads this, tell me what to do?

But we all got wood and nails and we turn out hate in factories.

Its always the same. I will never be good enough for you. I will never be more than youre friend. You told me to make things different, that you know that guy should be me, and when i think that you dont want me, that im wrong. and then you take it all back. "Never thought of you as a rebound, was just being friendly". Then what am I?

So do you think that we could work out a sign? So Ill know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try. So throw your tongue in mine, I know it's soooo hard breathing in alone, and you were right, I know I said you were wrong. I always said you were wrong.

I wont let go.

You Searched For Me.

Scared. You asked for me. "Is Chels online?"
I dont know whether this is a good thing or not.
Cant write. I need a ciggie.

If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever. <3

Pull up a seat so I can break you down.

"Id like it if you did"

He asked me if I still wanted to visit. And I said yes. and he said he would like that.
Friends. its a strange word on my tongue, but im sure I can swallow it eventually.
Im glad youre in my life. Really.

Ugh. Im getting braces. Im 18 how fail.

A woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets. But now you know there was a man named Jack Dawson and that he saved me... in every way that a person can be saved. I don't even have a picture of him. He exists now... only in my memory.

Theres a word I cant remember and a feeling I cant escape.

In some ways you brought me closer to myself, and helped me discover who i really was.
parts of me i had already discovered were useless, covered in dust until you came into
my life. and your brushed me off and made me new again. you made my cheeks blush
and turned me into the love stricken girl i needed to be. and you saved me. ive told you
countless times and it still feels fresh on my tongue. i learned to love because of you.
i learned to be unconditional. you pushed me away with alcohol. you would put me in
a corner and make me believe my feelings for you werent real. even when i knew they
were. i felt they were real. they still feel so new. you would call me names as if it was
an impulsion. and apologise later. i never liked alcohol on your breath or in your veins,
only if it was sweetened as it came out through your words. i love you, even though you kill me.

im in love and always will be.

And Yes I Dreamt Of You Too.

Its been a crazy month. Well, last month. I cant believe this time last year, I was thinking about you and I at college. Together. And im now alone without you.

Im not sure what Im meant to say, what you want me to say. I make sure not to talk to you first. Its my way of making you want to talk to me. Sometimes it works. you say hello every few days and sometimes we laugh, and have those Chris and Chelsea moments. You even asked me to stay in one night and talk to you. But...i know you need me to let you go. you started to tell me about how youre having trouble in your relationship with the girl who took you from me. and i sucked it up and i gave you advice, not to sabotage but to save your relationship. i think thats true love right there. i love you enough to let you go. it hurts. it hurts like you wouldnt believe, but if it makes you happy it cant be that bad, yeah? what kind of person would i be to make you unhappy? youre so blind though. im the one youre supposed to be with. you were never sad with me. i dont know whats so special about her. and im sorry you feel unwanted in your relationship. i know youre depressed, you tried to off yourself. dont ever do that again. i dont know what i would do without you. id hate myself for never getting to hug you. i wouldnt want to live.

i will always love you. always babe.

i actually had a relationship for two days but we hung out not long after you left me. i needed someone to grab onto. as you can see it didnt work out. he wasnt you. and i hated every second of it. i got him off my back though. heh.

It Might Be The Weather Speaking, But Sometimes I Dream About You.

We spent summer in love with our heads in the clouds.
And now its autumn, and theres nothing to do but fall.
Winter is coming and we will spend it shivering in the cold, with a blanket on our shoulders.
The world seems as heavy as my eyelids before i stumble into a world that just isnt mine anymore.
And i wish you would stop haunting me in my sleep. you were mine again.

you talked to me.
you have no idea how much i miss you.